Now it's be about 4:00 am here and the dang birds arn't even up out of the nests yet, much less that ol' sun a raisen outta that there East sky. What the ?%!#$&* am I a doing up at this time of the cotton pickin morning to go a fish'in? Why everyone knows that there ain't no respectable Large Mouth Bass gonna lets itself be caught afore daylight hours. What's that you be a sayin Mister Man? We gottas get to the right fish'in spot afore anybody else? It be's a 27,000 acre lake, doin ya really think some folks gonna be right there in da spot that ya'll done be thinkin bout? If'n ya'll haven't noticed there ain't no souls up on this here lake at this time of mornin but for us. Why's even the fish camp is still as quite as a country mouse in church on Sunday.
Now's ya'll gots to keeps in minds that whiles I tells ya'll mys story that my mans one of them theres professional fishing mans, why he be's the one and only Mark Beaver of Mark Beaver's Guide Service. So off'in we go racing out to that there secret spot on da lake, now bein the only boat on da lake this a mornin ya'll dones know we's gotta hurry. We's gets to that there secret spot rights in da middle of this here lake and it's still as dark as its cans be. I looks round ands I can sees a few lights a turning on in some of them theres cabins along da shore of the lake. I's is sure mighty glads I's has my coffee with me and one of them there thermos bottles for a back em up.
I settles on down into my fishin chair in da back of da boat of course whys do ya'll think any self respecting fisherman gonna gives up the front of da boat, nots even for his own lady! So's I gets my bait on my own hook and I's starts a fishin with my favorite carrot stick. Now for ya'll new fishermen and nons fishermen a carrot stick ain't be something ya'll eat. A carrot stick its be a new fancy fishin stick made from real carrot fibers and its be's a real pretty bright orange kinda like Gator orange for all ya'll Florida Gator fans, and this here thing it must not even weighs 3 pounds.
Wells after bout an hour here comes that ol sun right ups there in the East just likes its a pose to. And wouldn't cha all know them there Large Mouth Bass they a go to biting. Me and my man done caught us several 2 to 3 pound lil ol' bucks in a matter of no times at all. Looks likes da fishins gonna be's good todays.
Would'nt cha all knows it thats just bout nows I's is a wishin that I's hadn't hads all that there coffee this a mornin. I's gotta go Pee! You's sees my man he cans just go aheads and goes pee when he needs to out here on this dang lake, but all of you there gals done knows that it aint that easy forin us to be a goin pee whens we needs to. So heres be's my choices, there be's a bucket that I can sits on, but thats be kinda hard to do with the waves thats be a hittin da boat this mornin. Why's I'd probably fall rights off that there bucket with this here boat a rockin back and forth. So herin be's my only other choice is to sits on the sides of da boat and hold onto them there rails cause I done knows we's ain't a headin back to no fishin camp when da fish be's a biten out heres on this lake and I's jest cant's pees my britches. Yes sirre, I dones chose the only choice I thinks I has so I's puts my fishin stick down and sits on the sides of da boat and holds onto them there rails. Now jest bout the time that I can say ahhh, I's hears my reel and I's has got me a big ol fish a pullin line. So's I goes to a thinkin that I's can sits here and finish my business or I's cans catch that there fish. Wells its jest bout that time my fishin stick is headed towards the rail of da cotton picken boat and I's was not bout to loss my's carrot stick. I's jumps ups, my britches falls downs to my's ankles but I catches me that there Big Mouth Bass. Now'in I's takes a looks round after I caughts that there fish and I's knows that my face be's as red as my mans winter long johns and I's was be'ins so thankfuls that there still was not no other cotton pickin boats on this here lake. I's also be very thankful thats my man used him some better judgement and didn't goes a shootin any photos with my britches clear done to my ankles while I was a catchin that there bass.
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